(HARRISBURG) - The board of the Pennsylvania Higher Education Assistance Agency today tapped Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to succeed Dick Willey as president and CEO.

PHEAA Board Chairman Rep. William Adolph, R-Delaware, conceded the pool of applicants has been “thin so far.” But, he added, “anything’s bound to be an improvement.”

Gov. Ed Rendell applauded the selection of Ahmadinejad, saying he was

…that is what it will be called when DJ Ill Cosby plays his last show at Smalls on Saturday night. The well known mash-up and jack-of-all-trades in the Harrisburg electronic scene is relocating to Seattle and is playing his final shows this week.
If you missed him during his Sunday Services residency at the Abbey [...]

Dear The Patriot News,
Yes, you’re seeing that right; those are two different editions of The Patriot Plus.  Despite your many attempts to kill this vine by throwing trash at it over the span of weeks, the vine refuses to be crushed.  Next time, maybe you should throw a couple extra just to get the job [...]

Dear The Patriot News,
This house is on my block. No one has occupied it for years. Yet you deliver copies of The Patriot Plus to this house without fail. Sometimes the neighbors remember to add your wasted resources to the recycling bin. It would be a lot more neighborhood-friendly, however, if you could just stop [...]

Dear The Patriot News,
This stoop had three different editions of The Patriot Plus sitting on it when I visited. Can’t your delivery person tell that these residents are not interested? Sure, it would be great if they picked them up, but it would be even better if you just didn’t throw week three [...]